I Guess We'll See...

I'm leaving for vaca tomorrow, with my boyfriends family. :) I'm excited yet terrified at the same time--soooo much eating out. BUT I'm going to stick with salads/the low cal menu ( a lot of restaraunts seem to have now).

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday! But I'm officially losing from the 192 pounds I weighed on Tuesday. I'm back down to 188.6. Nooooot good, but it's better than nothing. I had really wanted to be down to 182 on sunday, but that's not going to happen. Soo I'll pry readjust my goals just a tiny bit AND ONLY THIS TIME!! I'm also going to decide what my rewards will be. :) Ahhhhh I'm so excited to be skinnnny.

I am FINALLY getting some more followers! Thanks guys. :)

I know today for lunch I'm eating aprox 250 cals ( a cheese stick and some meat slices). Soo that'll be good, I'm just not sure what my mom will bring me for supper tonight. :s

I plan on blogging when I can on vaca. :)

Good luck everyone!

Peace.Love.Skinny-Spencer

Disappointment.

I don't understand why I can't control myself. Why I can't go without. Ugh, and it frustrates me soo much. This is all I want. I want to be thin. I just keep thinking I have time, I have time--especially when it came to losing the weight for my senior pictures. I have to face the fact I'll probably only be around 175 so I'm going to make it my goal to get down to 170-175 for my pictures. I wanted to be at my goal weight, but thats absolutely impossible.

I'll just lose the weight during first semester and come back second semester hotter than ever. :) I will do this. I can do this. I have to do this. I have bad knees- in fact both my knees have had surgery, now i have re-injured one again. My mom thinks that just losing the weight will help it feel better. God I hope so.

I need some good motivation I just don't know what. Gahh. I need to figure this out.

Goals.

First off, I have decided on my goals. :)

GW1: 163- September 5
GW2: 145- October 7
GW3: 133- December 12

I determined these goals by losing only 3 pounds a week. Sooo hopefully I can reach my UGW of 125 by December 26. :) Just in time for the New Year. This week is going to be a challenge I weighed 189.6 this morning, by Sunday I reallly need to be at 182. Soo I'm kinda nervous about that.

In other news:

I was searching the internet for some of the old pro-ana websites I used to always go to--they're GONE. :( Sooo I have decided to create my own. :) That's what I plan on doing today, to keep myself preoccupied. I'll keep you posted!

peace.love.skinny-Spencer

Ohhhh boy.

Well. Today hasn't went as planned. At all.

I have managed to eat:
Trailmix- 250
Twix- 250

My mom already made me a salad for lunch, sooo that won't be too bad.

I promise to do better tomorrow. Promise.

It's just so hard finding that groove again. It's so hard to push the thought of food out of my mind--especially once i think of it. But I have no choice, if I want to look amazing to bring in 2011 I have to get serious. I just have to. Why can't we have our cake and eat it to. Hmmm that's an ironic saying. Because I looove food. But more than anything I want to be 125. That would be pure bliss.

I'm going to work on a little timeline dealy to keep me on track with goals. :) I need to treat weight loss like an assignment. That I can't fail- because if I do I basically fail at life. Why haven't I thought of that before? Ughh! I'm so pumped and encourage now. Sooo pumped!

I'll update with goals later- possibly tomorrow.

peace.love.skinny-spencer. :)

The Start of Something New.

Hi, my name is Spencer Moss and I am a fatass.

Haaahaa. Ok. Soo my name is obviously Spencer. I'm a senior to be, and I'm basically miserable. I'm 5'4" and I weigh 186.7..let's make it easy. I weigh 190 effing pounds. I feel as if I have tried everything. I has a nice little round with Ana going into my freshmen year, and I want that again. More than anything. My goal weight is 125. I want to be there ASAP. I don't care what it takes, I'm willing to sacrifice anything.

For those of you reading, who are against what I want..eff off, more than likely you're a fat ass just like me, only you are not willing to give up the food that is oh so dear to you. I'm here looking for support if I wanted to be told how horrible of an idea this was...I would sit down with my family and say "Hey guys, I want you to know that I'm not eating anymore. I'm letting Ana take care of me."....yahh that would go over greaaaat.

I just wanted to type up a quick little into blog, I'll be back later with more details. :)

peace.love.skinny-Spencer.