Disappointment.

I don't understand why I can't control myself. Why I can't go without. Ugh, and it frustrates me soo much. This is all I want. I want to be thin. I just keep thinking I have time, I have time--especially when it came to losing the weight for my senior pictures. I have to face the fact I'll probably only be around 175 so I'm going to make it my goal to get down to 170-175 for my pictures. I wanted to be at my goal weight, but thats absolutely impossible.

I'll just lose the weight during first semester and come back second semester hotter than ever. :) I will do this. I can do this. I have to do this. I have bad knees- in fact both my knees have had surgery, now i have re-injured one again. My mom thinks that just losing the weight will help it feel better. God I hope so.

I need some good motivation I just don't know what. Gahh. I need to figure this out.